Our Story: Relocating to New York City

I've had a couple of requests to write posts about what daily life is like in New York City. Since receiving the requests, I've realized that I haven't really shared a lot of the mundane, day-to-day stuff about our life here because...well it's mundane. I don't want to bore anyone, but I also don't want you to think that our life is glamorous or constantly exciting. Really, our fun outings only happen on Saturdays (and not every Saturday at that), after a tiring week of long work days for Brian and days full of writing, errands, and keeping house for me. So I guess it's only fair to share the boring stuff along with the good.

I want to start this series of posts off by writing down the story of how we came to be here in New York. I have felt Heavenly Father's hand in my life many times, guiding and directing me to make the best choices and find the best path. This was one of those times, and both as the events were occurring and as I look back, I can see His influence so clearly that it still amazes me and strengthens my testimony that God is real, that He knows each of us individually, that He knows our circumstances, that He cares about the little things, and that He is involved in the details, and as Brian likes to say, He is involved in the detours. I would be remiss if I didn't share this story and give credit where credit is due. There is no way our move to NYC and our life here these last four years would have been as smooth and successful as it was and has been, if it wasn't for Heavenly Father. I find that when I need a reminder of the truthfulness of these things, that all I have to do is think of this time in our life. Lately, I've really needed this reminder. I've been rereading some of the early posts of my blog these last few weeks, and I've realized that I've never shared the story of how our relocation came about. So here it is.

Our whole story of moving here, and finding this apartment so easily was in fact miraculous. During the summer of 2010, Brian applied for an internship with PC Magazine. He was due to finish up all his classwork at the end of July, and just needed an internship to complete his requirements for graduation. We had intentionally pushed the internship to the very end, because we knew that it was likely we would be in NYC for the internship and we didn't want to have to move across the country for a few months, have to give up my job at Zion's Bank, and then have to move back to Idaho for school and have the need for me to try to find work again. We had actually applied for and were offered the internship the year before, but just felt like we needed to put it off until the end. There was actually a bit more to it than that, with some unexpected and disappointing circumstances (which I won't go into here) that delayed Brian's graduation for a year and a half, and also contributed to our decision to put the internship off until the end of Brian's classes. But in the end it all worked out the best way possible, and in fact it was in part because of those circumstances, which were such a negative thing at the time, that everything worked out the way it did -- another sign that God's hand was in all of it.

We found out on August 11, 2010 while sitting in a restaurant somewhere in Oregon (we were driving from Rexburg, Idaho to Salem, Oregon to visit Brian's family) that he had gotten the internship. He got the call just as we had ordered our breakfast and I knew as soon as he answered that this was THE call and that we had gotten it. Really I had this strong feeling that this is what we would be doing when we applied a year earlier. I think it was Heavenly Father's way of giving me a heads up a long time in advance so I could get used to the idea. Even though I knew that this possibility was very likely, I was having a hard time wrapping my mind around the idea, and honestly was dreading having to go. But I kept feeling that this was the right course, so despite my rising panic, we went forward with applying.

I think we were both a little in shock after he finished talking to the magazine that summer morning. We found out that he would start work on September 7. After looking at the calendar on our phones as we sat in our booth waiting for our food, we decided that the best course of action would be to fly to New York on September 1. This would give us one week in NY to finalize any apartment finding or lease signing and settle in before he started. September 1 was a mere two weeks away from the day we would arrive back home from our trip. How in the world were we going to pack up our apartment, find a place to store our stuff, find an apartment in NYC, and move across the country in two weeks? Here is where the miracles began.

Once we got back to Idaho we talked to our current landlords to let them know that we would not be renewing our lease. Our lease was up at the end of the month, so the timing couldn't have been more perfect. We didn't have to worry about finding someone to sublet or the need to break our lease.

Our second order of business was to give my employer notice of quitting. I had told them earlier that there was a possibility of me quitting at the end of the summer and they were anxious to know so they would have time to fill the spot and train someone before I left. Although two weeks wasn't quite enough time for them to have someone fully trained, I was grateful I was able to give them that much notice.

We had been scrimping and saving for the last four years to build up some savings. When applying for this internship, we knew that it wasn't a paid position. We wanted to minimize the amount of student loans we would need to make this work. It was unlikely that I would be able to find a job, as we were only going to be there for four months -- who would hire someone for such a short time? We crunched the numbers and realized that we would need a student loan to supplement our savings in order to afford the move, rent, insurance, and basic monthly living expenses. Brian had to sign up for a couple of classes in order to qualify for student loans. Luckily, there were some general online courses that wouldn't be a hassle and that would allow him to meet the required credit limit. Even with the loan and our savings, on paper it looked like we would be short. This was so stressful -- having to spend all of your savings, plus get a loan, and still not know if that was enough to get you through. When receiving the news that he had gotten the internship, Brian asked about compensation on a whim (even though we knew it was unpaid). The lady he spoke with told him that the position was unpaid, but that she would check. We received a call from her later, informing us that they would pay him minimum wage at an hourly rate. This was a miracle. His wages would make up the difference and keep us from having to spend every last penny of our savings. What we ended up having left over wasn't a lot, but it was something.

During our repeated number crunching, we tried to add in the cost of a storage unit in which we would keep all of our belongings. We were not going to pay $5,000+ for a u-haul to move all of our stuff across the country for just four months. But no matter how we tried, there was no way we could pay for a storage unit.  My brother and his wife were renting a house in Chester, Idaho and had a spare room that they said we could place our stuff in. Chester is only 20-ish miles away from Rexburg, so it wouldn't be that big of a hassle to move our stuff over. Thank goodness for family.

The most miraculous event of all was how we found our apartment. We didn't even know where to start at first, and had so many worries. How would we find a clean, safe apartment in NYC without physically being there to look at places? How would we find an apartment to sublet or rent for only four months? What neighborhoods were the safest and most affordable? While Brian had been to NY once before, I never had, and it seemed as far away and foreign to us as Timbuktu.

Luckily, Brian had officially finished classes a few weeks before our trip to Oregon, so he had time to search online during those two weeks, while I was finishing up my time at work. He contacted his cousin Kyle, who lives in Manhattan. Kyle was very helpful and directed us to what neighborhoods to look in. Brian found a housing newsletter for the Queens LDS Stake, and registered to receive notifications of available apartments in the area. We centered our search around Queens -- because we discovered that it was in our price range and had safe neighborhoods. Let me tell you, we about died the first time we started looking up apartments in NYC. The prices were at minimum, triple what we were currently paying in rent in Rexburg. Through the LDS housing emails we found someone who was moving out of his apartment the first week of September and was looking for someone to sublet his apartment from September until the end of November. It was exactly what we needed and had been praying to find. The sublet would end two to three weeks before we needed it to, but through talking with the renter, Kevin Poole, and in turn him talking with his landlord, we learned that it would be possible for us to rent the apartment for December. Kevin sent us pictures, and the apartment looked clean, bright, and nice. We made a tentative agreement to take the sublet (we wanted to actually see the place in person before we signed any paperwork) and continued to pray that it would work out once we got there, because we hadn't found anything else that would. It was another instance where we only had a rough plan that we prayed would work, because if it didn't, we would be in trouble because there was no plan B.

With all of that taken care off, we started packing. We found free boxes at the local grocery stores and went to work. Each day we would pack up some stuff and set it aside, and by the first weekend, we had a load ready to take up to Chester. It was such a pain because we had to pack up stuff for storage, decide what to keep separate and take with us to NY, and then what to pack last, as we still had a short time to live in our apartment. I honestly don't know how we made it all work during those two weeks. As I look back now, it was all a blur.

We finished moving everything out and cleaning the apartment on August 28th, four days before we were to fly out to NY. I remember standing just inside the front door of our apartment with Brian and looking around at the emptiness. As I stood there, I couldn't help tearing up as I thought of the first time we walked through the place when we were engaged, imagining starting our married life there and of all the memories we had made over the last four years -- this had been our first home, and I was so sad to leave it.

We stayed with my parents for those last two days, and I would like to say that we had time to just relax and enjoy being with family, but the days were full of last minute errands and phone calls to notify our banks, insurance, and other services that we would temporarily be out of state. We needed to change our address, but didn't have a new address to give anyone yet, so we submitted a form with the post office to have all of our mail forwarded to my parent's address for the time being. I love my parents so much, and Brian's parents, and am so grateful for all of the support that they gave us at that time, and since.

Kiley and her husband Scott drove us down to Salt Lake City on August 31. My parents came with and we all spent that last day together and stayed overnight in a hotel near the airport. At the airport the next day, we unloaded our four suitcases and two carry-on bags. We were so anxious and excited at the same time -- mostly terrified nervous because we had no idea if the apartment would work out, or how any of it would work out. I hugged all of my family members so tightly and refused to cry. I just kept telling them (and myself) that it was only for four months, that we would be just fine, and that we would be back for Christmas. It was a hard parting. We had no way of knowing that we were saying goodbye for longer.

We wrangled our suitcases into the airport and checked them at the counter. I don't really remember much of the flights, except that we changed planes in Chicago. We passed the time reading, talking, and sleeping. It had been an exhausting couple of weeks. I remember flying into NYC around 10 or 11 that night, looking at all the lights out of the window and wondering what in the world we were doing. This feeling got worse as we exited the plane into LaGuardia Airport. I remember being very underwhelmed, and a little alarmed. The place was deserted except for a few janitors vacuuming, half of the lights were off, and the shops locked up, and despite the cleaning being done, it just felt very dirty and sketchy.

We waited forever to get our bags, luckily they all made it okay. We didn't feel any better as we stepped out of the airport into the hot, muggy air. The air even smelled different -- not the fresh clean air of my beloved Idaho. We took a crazy taxi ride through Queens and into Manhattan to Kyle's apartment on the upper west side, where we would be staying for a few days. Again, we were very underwhelmed as we sped down the dark streets crowded with buildings and lined with cars. Loose garbage blew down the sidewalks, and my vision of the New York I was only familiar with from movies was replaced by the disheartening reality.

As you can guess, the apartment did work out and we settled in nicely. We were still a little shell shocked during those first couple of months. It took us awhile to really feel comfortable in the city. At the time we didn't have smart phones, but had bought a little Moleskine NYC map book while still in Idaho. That little book was our best friend and life saver as we wandered around the city, finding our way from place to place. Brian only worked three or four days a week during his internship, so we had extended weekends, which we spent scouring the city as tourists. We almost wore our feet off walking around for six plus hours a day that first month, but soon we built up our tourists muscles and were fine. We about wore my family out running them around the city when they all came to visit us one month later.

From the moment we learned that we were going to NYC until we were actually there, we were so stressed about making it work that we didn't let ourselves think about what would happen once the internship ended. It was just too much to worry about, so we put it in the Lord's hands and moved forward. We were moving out of state, across the country for four months. I was giving up my job. We had no promise of a permanent job after the internship -- in fact we weren't even planning on that, and thought that we would work to find a permanent job for Brian (hopefully back out west) during the internship months. We were pretty much spending all of our money to be in NY and had no idea what we would live on afterwards. We had no home to go back to, and only could hope that one set of parents or the other would allow us to stay with them when we left NY while we found a permanent place to land. And with the crappy economy, finding a good job just out of college wasn't looking promising for all of us newly graduated students. If you know me, then you know that I am a worrier and that I like to have every little detail planned out. We had nothing planned out. (Insert crazy laughter here.) To say that I was on the verge of a breakdown is putting it mildly. Not only were we leaving Idaho, the only place I had ever lived (and where the biggest city I had ever lived in had only 25,000 people), to move to a the largest city in the country with 8 million people of all different walks of life, but we were moving there with no permanent plan, and would be basically broke when it was over. This was the single biggest moment in my life where I have moved forward on nothing but faith. I'm scared of heights, and yet I felt like I was voluntarily stepping off a cliff with no bridge in sight. (It felt a little like I was Indiana Jones when he stepped out into thin air in the ravine during the film Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.)

In mid October, a mere month and a half into Brian's internship, he was offered a permanent position with PC Mag. I was so proud of him! I truly was happy for Brian, and for all his hard work, and this opportunity for him. Heavenly Father had blessed us once again, providing a bridge for our leap of faith in the form of a permanent job and somewhere to land (or I guess stay) after the internship. Going back a little, if that year and a half delay in Brian's schooling hadn't happened, then we would have taken the internship the year before. During that time, PC Mag was purchased by the current owner. Some financial shenanigans from the previous owners had left the company on the verge of bankruptcy, and this guy literally saved the company. Had we been in a position to take the internship the year before, they wouldn't have been in any position to hire Brian permanently (they were cutting staff positions at the time) and finding a job right out of college wouldn't have been so easy. Even though I knew this was the solution to all of our worries about the near future, I hated the idea of staying here and wanted so badly to turn it down and just head back to Idaho. This was such a hard time for me. After much prayer, and a lot of tears, I knew that we needed to accept. For some reason, we were needed in NYC.

I can't honestly say that after we made the decision to stay, that life has been wonderful and that I immediately loved living here, or that I've been the picture of positivity and sunshine. I would like to say that I've never complained about our decision to stay, but I have. I'd like to say that I've never felt angry, sad, disappointed, depressed, or frustrated since being here, but I have. I've had to work hard at being happy about being here. But over time it has gotten a easier. Living in New York City has been the most challenging and trying time of my life. But it has worked out. It has been beneficial to us. It has taught me a great deal about myself. It has strengthened our marriage. It has strengthened my faith in God.

Brian has grown so much professionally with this job. He is so talented, and works so hard, and has learned so much from being here. He has earned promotions and raises, and has become a valuable member of the magazine. Our time here has benefited his career in so many ways.

We have made wonderful, lasting friendships while being here. We have an amazing ward, of which so many members have blessed our lives. They have become our NYC family. We have also made a lifelong friend in Matthew Murray, a co-worker with whom Brian was able to share the gospel and baptize.

We have been able to see Heavenly Father's hand so clearly in our lives. On paper, it doesn't add up how we survived here financially during the first year or so. I've had a couple of health issues since we've been here, one of which could have been fatal, but I'm still here and I'm okay (I'm saving that story for another time). Just after my brother and his wife bought and moved into a house two years ago (taking our stored stuff with them -- which is everything we own except for those four suitcases full of stuff, plus a few items here and there that we've brought back from our various trips), the house that they were previously renting burned down. We could have lost everything, but we didn't. They've unselfishly stored our stuff for these last four years, and we are so, so grateful to them. We've been able to turn our apartment here into a home, with just those four suitcases, and a handful of things we've gotten since. We've been able to afford multiple trips home to visit family and Brian's family has been able to come visit us a lot. These trips and visits have been so important to us, and have kept me sane and given me something to look forward to. I was able to find a job that allowed me to work from home and utilize my Bachelor's degree in Horticulture. We have so many neat things nearby that we can visit, which also helps make life more bearable for me. There is so much more that I could list here, but you get the idea. There is no doubt in my mind that each of these things is a direct blessing from Heavenly Father.

So, no, I can't say that our life here is always glamorous and exciting. In fact, it rarely is. Even the simplest things in NYC are complicated. Life here has been hard and full of trials, but it has also been full of blessings. And to be able to step back and count those blessings, and see how we have been helped and guided by Heavenly Father, helps make life better. We still don't know how, or when we will be able to move back west. We both want it so badly, and miss not being close to our families. But we know that when it happens, it will not be by our design alone. And that's okay, because His plans always seem to work out better than ours ever would.